(no subject)

[kingandy]

Windscreen repair kit did not have a great deal of effect.  Will have to take a ruler to it, see if it is under the 10mm crack limit.  May ring windscreen people to see how much it would cost to replace the whole damn thing.

A few weeks ago I noticed that I tend to try to get the last word in a conversation; when disengaging, there's usually a certain amount of back and forth ("See you then, then - So long - b'bye"), and I'd been going to some length to claim the last farewell.  If somebody says something, I just have to respond to it, and that's something I've been doing in LJ as well.  So I've been trying to do it less, both LJ and RL.  It is quite difficult.  I just thought I'd mention, in case people think I haven't been very polite lately.  Since that is why I do it, after all - I instinctively consider it quite rude not to acknowledge somebody's communication.  Or something.

I am sure great psychological studies have been made on the subject of conversational behaviour such as this.  I am unaware of any of their conclusions.

Comments

[anne-l-davies.livejournal.com]

Intriguingly, one of the tactics of decent advocates is to leave long silences between questions. I saw a guy do it to one of our client's recently. He asked her a question, she answered briefly, and then he left a big gap whilst he vaguely rifled through papers which she would then speak into. She managed to say all sorts of stuff she shouldn't have, and got a really bad result.

Sometimes silence is the best policy, as is not having the last word.

[kermix.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it's worth going back and trying to figure out the cause of a particular programmed behavior.

Other times, it's just annoying and it's good enough to just say "fine I won't do that any more" and deal with it.

Related to conversation: if you still want the last word, those dang'ol Scientologists actually had a series of exercises in controlling one's language in such a way as to guide a conversation to remain open or to finish it off. It's deviously simple, actually, as certain words or phrases are "leading" and suggest the end of a thought, or an open request for more information.

It should be easy enough, in verbal conversation, to put together a language toolbox that will suit whatever changes you're trying to implement in your own speech (without having to talk to a Scientologist about it).

[kingandy]

I don't think I actually care whether I get the last word or not - I just noticed I was doing it, and that though the original intent was politeness it may possibly be related to some sort of "alpha male" type political jostling. It's a reflex, and a pointless (possibly counterproductive) one, so I thought I'd see if I could stop...

You're right that it's programmed, rather than instinctive, though. I once pulled somebody up for saying "it becomes instinctive" - if it was an instinct, it wouldn't need to be practiced... now I catch myself doing it all the time. D'oh!

Geeeeek

[stsquad.livejournal.com]

This is why FIN and RST are different from ACK.

Re: Geeeeek

[kingandy]

I recall one professor on our CS course transcribing a handshake protocol in human terms. It made the whole process much more understandable.

Re: Geeeeek

[stsquad.livejournal.com]

RST = "Talk to the hand - 'cause I aint hearing you" ;-)

[kmazzy.livejournal.com]

i was reading new scientist yesterday and someone did a study where people had to change their normal habits for a few days a week. like if they were usually extrovert they had to be quiet and shy or if they were very planning they had to be spontaneous.

they were told not to change their diet or exercise regimes and on average they lost 5kg over the course of the study (a few months i think.)

i would use some text directly from the NS archive but it's being mean and not letting me in. curse it.

[jfs.livejournal.com]

If you accidentally drop a spanner through your windshield, your car insurance will almost certainly* replace it for £50 and it doesn't count as a claim.

* Check first.

[renniek.livejournal.com]

Great minds etc ;-)

[kingandy]

It seems unlikely as I only have basic 3PFT - but it's probably worth checking, thanks. :)

[stsquad.livejournal.com]

Hey I can drive you guys down tommorrow if you want - but you'll need to sort out a lift back as I'm heading back on Monday.

[renniek.livejournal.com]

Check your car insurance. Often, you can get your windscreen replaced for £50 throughyour insurance without affecting your no claims bonus

[wulfboy.livejournal.com]

Fuck it. If people didn't want you to comment on their LJ, they wouldn't let you. If theydidn't want you to comment in RL, they shouldn't have had their conversation near you.

[kingandy]

What? I'm just talking about the end of a conversation... it can take quite a while to escape if you're both trying to get the last word.

Such protracted farewells usually end with one party yelping "BYE!" and ducking out of the door before the other can respond.

[mrssshhh.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I wonder if we can get this entry up to over 100 comments. You'll look dead popular then, or slightly sad somehow...

[kingandy]

Or a beautiful combination of both.

I've been meaning to ask, where's your icon from? Looks a bit like somebody from "X-Nation 2099"...

[mrssshhh.livejournal.com]

99!

[mrssshhh.livejournal.com]

100!

[nattydreadi.livejournal.com]

w00t

[anberu.livejournal.com]

I was so intrigued to see so many comments on a post about getting the last word that I had to check it out for myself!

[tractorb.livejournal.com]

Me too:-)

[rich-bull.livejournal.com]

I don't believe Andy will get the last post this time, only time will tell. Whats the max number of comments?

[nattydreadi.livejournal.com]

Who knows - lots I'd say :)

[ed-fortune.livejournal.com]

Last word

I win.

Au contraire fortuno

[nyarbaggytep.livejournal.com]

I have the same answering things problem.