kingandy: (Default)
[personal profile] kingandy
Got, to quote Mr Rafferty, up.

Spent an enjoyable afternoon in the company of [livejournal.com profile] arwel and [livejournal.com profile] icklejo, watching something like 8 episodes of Futurama, 75% of which I had not previously seen. Arwel is a wonderful person with whom to watch Futurama, as his constant hysterical giggles and squeals of "I'm going to be sick!" are most infectious. By the end of the session, my sides were quite the aching from laughter.

Then entertained myself until [livejournal.com profile] bacony came home from work. Poor sausage, she is unable to take time off over the festive season aside from bank holidays.

After a short while of pleasantries (and some apologies for awakening her at 2AM while connecting the new DVD player - which, while perhaps inadvisable, was not done in a drunken stupor or indeed under the influence of any alcohol at all, a fact which becomes relevant later), Bacon then proceeded to unpack the toasted sandwich maker that she bought me for my birthday last month and give it its inaugural use. I wince in shame. I have been trying to be appreciative, really I have; it was a thoughtful gift and very generous and I am very grateful, really. I am. But somehow I could not stop myself making snarky comments. In that horrible venomous way I have of making it seem cheerful and polite, as I stood there making comparisons with a bowling ball engraved "Homer". Really, very, very sorry about that.

Leaving the house feeling quite sheepish, I proceeded to the Thirsty Scholar for some alcohol, accompanied by [livejournal.com profile] stsquad, [livejournal.com profile] anne_l_davies, [livejournal.com profile] ghostbritain and his girlfriend Nevenka (sans LJ as far as I know, though she is reading, so I must be careful what I say cock shit wank). [livejournal.com profile] renniek did not show up, so we assumed her to be attached to Karl in a wholly natural, platonic and not-leading-on kind of way. We spoke of many things, of girlfriends and geek, of houses and whores, and of how [livejournal.com profile] bacony thinks I am an alcoholic.

Now, I have heard this before (not just about Bacon, either; apparently Nev thought I was a bit of a drunkard at one point), and I do take it seriously. We had some people at school come in and tell us about alcoholism, and how the primary symptom is that you don't think you're an alcoholic, which appealed to my natural self-examinatory impulses. So of course, when somebody suggests it of me (or suggests that somebody else thinks it of me) I will review my drinking habits. They are not, it must be said, extensive. I never drink alone, and usually not unless at least one of my companions is likewise drinking. If I do start drinking during the afternoon (very rare indeed), I drink no more than I would normally drink over an evening, all spread out across the day. The only alcoholic tendency I have is that when I do drink, I will drink. No half-measures, as it were. Despite this, I think that I have found my level, and do not drink to excess; after this evening's imbibement I am still (apparently) largely coherent, able to walk in a straight line and spell words like "coherent" and "imbibement". Though I am not entirely certain that "Imbibement" is an actual word as such. But see, I can still formulate HTML code, even the complicated stuff, so I cannot be too entirely slaughtered.

During the course of this evening, though, it came out that Katy thinks I cannot get out of bed without the aid of an alcopop. This came as something of a surprise. I cannot for the life of me think where one would get that impression. I have never, to my knowledge, drank alcohol before noon; on the days that I get up after noon (usually due to internet useage rather than post-midnight drinking) I can't remember taking to the bottle within several hours of waking. The thought occurs that she may have noticed there is usually some booze in the fridge. The further thought occurs that she may not have noticed that this is the same booze for months at a time. I still have half a bottle of Malibu that some of my friends bought me as a joke when I started drinking two years ago.

The lesson we have learned here is this: 1) Always pump Nook for the full story before worrying, and 2) If you have worries about somebody's health or sanity you should perhaps approach them rather than confiding in Nook. And 3) Never confide in Nook.

Date: 2003-12-30 05:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samharber.livejournal.com
And more importantly, never listen to anything that I've told Nook.
I shall be taking my own advice from now on.

Date: 2003-12-31 04:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ghostbritain.livejournal.com
What the fuck does that mean, old man?

Date: 2003-12-31 04:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] samharber.livejournal.com
It means from now on I shall only ever lie to you.

Date: 2003-12-31 08:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ghostbritain.livejournal.com
Um, is that one of those contradictions in terms i've heard about?
How do i know to believe that?

Date: 2003-12-31 09:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myki.livejournal.com
It's a trick Nook - quick - eat the paper!

You're not an alcoholic.

Date: 2003-12-31 02:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pkgem.livejournal.com
You would drink alone if you were. You may be a social-alco-whore and maybe you can even class yourself as a binge-drinker. Personally, I don't see a problem with that. I'm used to be a binge-drinker. I would either not drink at all or I would end up wankered. These days I am too much of a lightweight.
Come to think of it, the only time I've though you might have an alcohol problem was because I heard that you thought you might, via the grapevine (aka Nook) but under scientific observation, this proved unfounded.
To summarise: You haven't got a drinking problem.

btw - Everyone Loves You!

What have i done?

Date: 2003-12-31 04:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ghostbritain.livejournal.com
I've created a monster!

Erm, no. Why the sudden 'nook-backlash'?
I am not the only person who this has been confided in, for it was Alex who said 'Bacon' after you stated 'i can't imagine who told you that'.

In fact, in my defence against these perceived crimes, i would suggest that i was the only person who mentioned it to you. Making me a better friend.

I would like to amend your lessons to:
1) Always pump your friends for the full story (as evidenced by Nev's revelation of mobile phone use), 2) If you are worried about somebodies health or sanity, you shoud perhaps approach them rather than confiding in everybody else you meet (like Sam, Nook, Alex or anybody else you're having a casual conversation with), 3) Remember, life is exactly like a sit-com, with good intentions misunderstood to hilarious circumstances and 4) Trust no one.

I am aggrieved that i have been painted as the villain of this piece, seeing as the first person i told, was you. You are dead to me now.

Still coming round on New Years day?

Date: 2003-12-31 05:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mrssshhh.livejournal.com
You could always be lying to us about the not drinking alone bit. We will have to get people to smell your breath at random intervals throughout the new year, just to check.

btw, the fact that I have four bottle of Stolichnaya in my house, including one on my bedside table, does not mean I drink a lot. I just need to know that should the worst come to the worst, strong booze is never more than three strides away.

Date: 2004-01-02 08:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ed-fortune.livejournal.com
I don't think I've ever seen you drink. *sigh*

Coding HTML whilst drunk should be a basic IT exam.

One should be able to construct nested tables whislt hanging upside down having consumed a bottle of Vodka and downing mescaline.


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