This item is an inferior fleshbag spatula

[kingandy]

Last night was Star Wars roleplay, which dissolved into hilarity when kardrath's murderdroid character was installed with cookery and butlering subroutines.

I've always imagined him to deliver his HK-47-esque hate-filled exclamations with the cheerful yet stilted disposition of the robot from Lost in Space ("Attention! Meatbags will now submit to termination!"). Applying the same speech pattern to a waiter resulted in comedy gold, which naturally I had to share with the rest of the class.

"Fleshling meal will be served at 20:00 hours and not before! There will be no snacking!"
"Meatbags will now enjoy their entrees!"

And so forth.

Comments

[blufive.livejournal.com]

Heh. I'm reminded of Kim Newman and Paul MacAuley's skit at the 2005 Hugo Award ceremony:

Jules Verne's famous Three Laws of Automata: a homunculus, automaton or other artificial being shall not serve a human red wine with fish, must always alert a human to shortfallings in the quality of his cuisine with a mechanical cry of 'sacré bleu', and shall not (through inaction) allow a human to be seen in public with mismatching gaiters and cravatte.

(full script available at Kim Newman's website - it's one of the more entertaining bits of alternate history I've seen for a while...)