kingandy | Gratuitous Lyric Post

"I Wish I Were" by Da Vinci's Notebook

I wish I were a bird
'Cause if I were a bird
Then I could take wing high above you
You could watch my white wings flap
And I could take a great big crap
On anyone who tried to hurt you
But then I'd have to desert you
Flying southward in the Fall
I don't want to be a bird
After all.

I wish I were a dog
'Cause if I were a dog
Then I'd do tricks to show I loved you
I could run and fetch the stick
And I could sit right down and lick
My privates
When your Mom came over
But if I was your Rover
You'd have my testicles recalled
I don't want to be a dog
After all.

Li-de-di, li-de-di, li-de-di li-de-di
Li-de-di, li-de-di, li-de-di
Li-de-di, li-de-di, li-de-di li-de-di
Li-de-di, li-de-di, li-de-di

I wish I were a deer
'Cause if I were a deer
Then we could play out in the forest
'Till you shot me by mistake
Then you would carve me into steak
With a touch so sweet and gentle
Keep my head as a momento
Hanging in the upstairs hall
I don't want to be a deer
After all.

I wish I were a monkey!
'Cause if I were a monkey
Then I could be your furry jester
And whenever you were blue
You'd come and see me at the zoo
My antics
Would be reassuring
But I would always smell of urine
And throw my fæces at the wall
I don't want to be a monkey
I don't want to be a monkey
No I don't want to be no monkey
After all.

Li-de-di, li-de-di, li-de-di li-de-di
Li-de-di, li-de-di, li-de-di
Li-de-di, li-de-di, li-de-di li-de-di
Li-de-di, li-de-di, li-de-di