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kingandy1) You're a fairly reasonable chap; what would make you want to violently hurt someone?
If they consistently mistreated somebody I love. It would have to be consistent because if somebody's a bastard once my instinct is to take them aside and tell them off, or tell my friend that they're not worth getting upset over.
Once I kicked my best friend hard enough to leave a big, purple bruise. I think I drew blood. This was in middle school, so I suppose I would have been about 11 or 12. I can't remember what we were arguing about, but I remember a sudden flare of anger, followed by an almost immediate surge of horror and guilt. I just don't want to feel like that again.
2) If you kill yourself, you can save the lives of 100 other people you don't know. What do you do?
That's a tricky one, because I have a very strong sense of self-preservation. Intellectually I would like to think that I could die for other people - particularly so many, because each one is a unique and special snowflake of special uniqueness - but I think, when it came to it, I would be very reluctant to drive the blade home or pull the trigger or swallow the pill or whatever.
3) No-one can be as genial and happy as you. Tell me, is it drugs? If not, how do you explain it?
It is not drugs. (One of my old housemates once said "Andy doesn't need weed, he's already stoned all the time.") I can't really explain it, because I honestly don't see it myself. People who only know me tangentially tell me what a lovely nice person I am, and I think back and can't remember actually doing or saying anything particularly nice in their presence. It's not something I try to do, it's just the way I naturally behave. I think perhaps it's just that I find it very easy to empathise with people - or rather, very hard not to empathise - and think about how I would feel if I was in their situation, and treat them accordingly.
I suppose it's possible that I'm a wholly fucked-up individual who represses every violent or resentful impulse down where it can do the most damage. There could also be an element of selfishness in there, since I find if you are nice to people they are more inclined to repay the favour. There were a couple of times - two, I think - during my school career when a particular person decided it would be fun to get at me. Looking back, I suppose you would call it bullying, and once or twice I did get a bit roughed up (a bit of shoulder barging, a couple of punches). I soon realised retaliating physically served no particular purpose as they were both larger and stronger than me. So I retaliated mentally, with clever words and a smile, and by asking them what, exactly, they thought they were achieving. The first one got bored and went away, and the second one - a year or two later - admitted that he knew he couldn't compete with me intellectually so was trying to intimidate me physically. (It sounds a bit smug that way. I think his actual words were "Well, you're always saying things. I can't think of anything to say back.") We eventually became good mates.
(Addendum: Neither of those incidents took place over the course of a single afternoon, and neither did I come to those conclusions alone; they took weeks or months and several long conversations with my Mum.)
4) You're surrounded by people who are lost, scared, confused and angry. Can you take charge?
I think I can (thanks to LRP), but I'd rather not. At first I'd try to get the group functioning as an autonomous collective, pointing out what is and is not true and guiding them into making decisions. If that didn't work then I'd try shouting orders. Mostly I'd try and talk them into keeping a clear head and finding their way.
5) You're offered guaranteed, no strings attached, no repercussions, immortality. All you have to do is behead a five year old child and drink their blood. What do you do? Why?
Ah, but that's a string, isn't it? Live forever by murdering a child. I won't say the notion of eternal life doesn't appeal (I'd love to see where humanity is going, not to mention get my flying car), despite the downside of everyone and everything you know and love slowly turning to dust around you. I think I could live with that; it's that whole self-preservation thing again. But murdering a child - or anyone - goes over my line, I'm afraid. That's just too high a price to pay. (Though I know some people who would cheerfully behead a child if they knew they could get away with it, even if they got nothing else out of it...)
Besides, drinking of blood is just too much of a Bad Sign. No matter how much one is assured there will be neither strings nor repercussions, it is generally a bad idea to get involved with the kind of people who behead small children and drink their blood.
If they consistently mistreated somebody I love. It would have to be consistent because if somebody's a bastard once my instinct is to take them aside and tell them off, or tell my friend that they're not worth getting upset over.
Once I kicked my best friend hard enough to leave a big, purple bruise. I think I drew blood. This was in middle school, so I suppose I would have been about 11 or 12. I can't remember what we were arguing about, but I remember a sudden flare of anger, followed by an almost immediate surge of horror and guilt. I just don't want to feel like that again.
2) If you kill yourself, you can save the lives of 100 other people you don't know. What do you do?
That's a tricky one, because I have a very strong sense of self-preservation. Intellectually I would like to think that I could die for other people - particularly so many, because each one is a unique and special snowflake of special uniqueness - but I think, when it came to it, I would be very reluctant to drive the blade home or pull the trigger or swallow the pill or whatever.
3) No-one can be as genial and happy as you. Tell me, is it drugs? If not, how do you explain it?
It is not drugs. (One of my old housemates once said "Andy doesn't need weed, he's already stoned all the time.") I can't really explain it, because I honestly don't see it myself. People who only know me tangentially tell me what a lovely nice person I am, and I think back and can't remember actually doing or saying anything particularly nice in their presence. It's not something I try to do, it's just the way I naturally behave. I think perhaps it's just that I find it very easy to empathise with people - or rather, very hard not to empathise - and think about how I would feel if I was in their situation, and treat them accordingly.
I suppose it's possible that I'm a wholly fucked-up individual who represses every violent or resentful impulse down where it can do the most damage. There could also be an element of selfishness in there, since I find if you are nice to people they are more inclined to repay the favour. There were a couple of times - two, I think - during my school career when a particular person decided it would be fun to get at me. Looking back, I suppose you would call it bullying, and once or twice I did get a bit roughed up (a bit of shoulder barging, a couple of punches). I soon realised retaliating physically served no particular purpose as they were both larger and stronger than me. So I retaliated mentally, with clever words and a smile, and by asking them what, exactly, they thought they were achieving. The first one got bored and went away, and the second one - a year or two later - admitted that he knew he couldn't compete with me intellectually so was trying to intimidate me physically. (It sounds a bit smug that way. I think his actual words were "Well, you're always saying things. I can't think of anything to say back.") We eventually became good mates.
(Addendum: Neither of those incidents took place over the course of a single afternoon, and neither did I come to those conclusions alone; they took weeks or months and several long conversations with my Mum.)
4) You're surrounded by people who are lost, scared, confused and angry. Can you take charge?
I think I can (thanks to LRP), but I'd rather not. At first I'd try to get the group functioning as an autonomous collective, pointing out what is and is not true and guiding them into making decisions. If that didn't work then I'd try shouting orders. Mostly I'd try and talk them into keeping a clear head and finding their way.
5) You're offered guaranteed, no strings attached, no repercussions, immortality. All you have to do is behead a five year old child and drink their blood. What do you do? Why?
Ah, but that's a string, isn't it? Live forever by murdering a child. I won't say the notion of eternal life doesn't appeal (I'd love to see where humanity is going, not to mention get my flying car), despite the downside of everyone and everything you know and love slowly turning to dust around you. I think I could live with that; it's that whole self-preservation thing again. But murdering a child - or anyone - goes over my line, I'm afraid. That's just too high a price to pay. (Though I know some people who would cheerfully behead a child if they knew they could get away with it, even if they got nothing else out of it...)
Besides, drinking of blood is just too much of a Bad Sign. No matter how much one is assured there will be neither strings nor repercussions, it is generally a bad idea to get involved with the kind of people who behead small children and drink their blood.
