QI

[kingandy]

From wulfboy:

1 What is the worst case of food poisoning you ever had or experienced second-hand?

Hmm ... I think probably the time bacony got rushed to hospital in the middle of an overnight linear adventure due to some ill-prepared rice. Apparently she could have died if Martin J hadn't spotted it.

2 what is it you like about the "Good Charlottes"?

I like the way they use heavy guitar riffs and banging drums while managing to retain a tune and melody. That's about the size of it; I like the sound they make.

3 What's the single thing you are most irritated about losing?

I hate losing anything. I am, by nature, a hoarder. I kept a "Little Professor" for many years on the basis that, with the cover removed, it made a decent sci-fi prop and it could come in handy one day you never know. The first time I actually used it, it wandered away. That was annoying. But the single, most irritating thing ... ooh, a toughie. I can't find my favourite drawing pen, but I don't count that as "lost" yet, only misplaced ...

No, I know. I once lost a month's rent in one stupid, stupid moment in Blackpool. There were these people, see, by the side of the road, and they had this game ... I just wanted to see how it worked, and he kept promising me my money back if I could just score this exact number, or any one of these exact numbers (all of which were physically improbable, involving getting several ping-pong balls in the same hole). I was young and foolish then.

4 You've arranged an advertising campaign to promote the idea of "Everyone Loves Andy" to go out in the ad-break in the ITV ten-o'clock-news. Describe the advert.

The advert portrays the product through the medium of metaphor. There are several cats playing in a room, possibly a laboratory, being variously distracted by shiny objects and rubber mice and such. Much mewing and tinkling of bells. Then another cat enters. All the original cats turn away from their shiny objects and gather around the new cat. New cat sits, and the other cats lie down at his feet. Silence as caption overlays: "Everybody loves Andy."

5 Honour, Wisdom or Glory?

I shall discard Glory right off the bat, since I care not a jot for that. I think of the remaining two I shall choose Wisdom. Honour, I think, is about not allowing people to insult you, and I don't care what people think of me. Or else it's about doing the right thing ("acting with honour"). But without wisdom, how would you know the right thing to do? With Wisdom, you can do the right thing, even though it may be dishonourable (strangling Baby Hitler, for example). Yes, definitely wisdom over honour.

From bacony:

1) What is the nicest compliment anyone's ever given you?

Two come to mind, and I am hard-pressed to choose between them. One thing that has stayed with me for several years now is something small that Ms Paula Westwood threw at me at the end of a patented Rich Caller whodunnit-style adventure: "You are a f*cking good roleplayer." That one still makes me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside, though I'm sure she doesn't remember it. The other one is the time you (bacony) told me you thought I was intelligent. I occasionally worry that I may be a little dim, since somebody told me I was one time when they were drunk.

2) You have the power to direct the filming of one book. Which one, and why?

I'd love to see one of the Doctor Who New Adventures on the big screen. Glancing at my shelf, I would like to see "Return of the Living Dad", since it is funny and includes a lot of elements from other novels, as well as being a romp through the Doctor Who mythos in general. I'm also fond of "No Future", because of a fight scene that rolls through several layers of popular culture, and the line "Aah, yes, the Vardans; the only race ever to be outwitted by the intellectual might of the Sontarans."

3) When did you decide that you wanted to be an artist?

I started drawing at around the age of eight or nine, incessantly doodling on my schoolwork. It was largely because I was easily bored. Some years later I started regularly reading comic books, and after a while connected the images on the pages with real people somewhere in the world, who were presumably doing this for a living. It struck me that this would be immensely fun and bohemian (though I didn't know the word at the time), and that I should try and make my way into doing likewise if at all possible.

4) Given your opinion on drugs, why are you no longer teetotal?

Because it is addictive. I was never actually opposed to drinking alcohol as such, what with it being legal and not so harmful as cigarettes (probably). I genuinely didn't like the taste. And I didn't (still don't) see the point of acclimatising myself to the taste purely for the sake of getting drunk. Now that I have been introduced to alcoholic drinks that taste nice, I have got a lot of catching up to do. But primarily, as I say, it's incredibly addictive; I've caught myself, a couple of times, trying to justify having a drink and being distressed when I can't. I have made my mind up to keep an eye on that and only drink when I really want to.

5) Where would you most like to live?

Manchester. I long ago decided that my life would be ruled by where I want to be, rather than where the money is. That said, I think I'd be happy almost anywhere if my friends were there.

Which Endless Are You?

Dream, the third of The Endless, you are in charge of the Dreaming, all imagination and creativity, everyone knows your beautiful realm, but none truly understand it. You are dark and brooding, creative, and spend a lot of time by yourself, just thinking. You are almost as serious as Destiny, but not quite. Everyone is enchanted by you, but you keep them all at a distance, even when you shouldn't.

Which Endless are you?
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