Confidence and Paranoia
Mar. 18th, 2004 10:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kingandyFollowing Everichon, Mr Rafferty recently mentioned that I'm "like that all the time, not just at Omega". He's neglecting to expand on that, and it's starting to disturb me ... I'm not sure if he meant I was playing a similar character (hopefully not, I tried to make them distinct - K'Wedge hung about at the back until he saw people that needed help, whereas Sullivan marched on in and demanded to know what was going on. I suppose they were both fundamentally altruistic, and of course there is a Who connection, but still I would be disappointed to find they were too similar), or if he was talking about my rugged good looks and roguish charm, or what. I would say it's infuriating, but anyone who knows me knows that basically isn't true... it's just intriguing.
[UPDATE: Nothing to do with any of that, he was talking about my relaxed attitude towards life. (See note above re: infuriation.) In fact the phrase he used was "perpetually stoned" ... something that has been said of me once or twice before. The people in my 2nd-year Uni flat posited that I had perhaps been dropped in a cauldron as a baby, a la Obelix. It's slightly disturbing, especially as I was trying to be keen, insightful, attentive and authoritative at Everichon.
Oh well, if I came across as relaxed and slightly dozy then it would at least fit the stat mixup - I planned to ask for Mind 7 / Body 5 (the average being 6), but somewhere along the way (either what I sent to Sam, or Sam sent to the organisers, or some mixup in the organisers' records) this got switched around. What with the time delay between booking and playing, I didn't realise M5/B7 wasn't what I'd asked for until the Monday morning, when I happened across my original draft... spent a good portion of the event trying to figure out what I had been thinking, heh.]
Yesterday I realised that people really do ask me, specifically, for help with their code, and it's not just because I'm the nearest extra set of eyes - people are shouting across the office for my help. This has bolstered my self-confidence somewhat, though only a little.
[UPDATE: Nothing to do with any of that, he was talking about my relaxed attitude towards life. (See note above re: infuriation.) In fact the phrase he used was "perpetually stoned" ... something that has been said of me once or twice before. The people in my 2nd-year Uni flat posited that I had perhaps been dropped in a cauldron as a baby, a la Obelix. It's slightly disturbing, especially as I was trying to be keen, insightful, attentive and authoritative at Everichon.
Oh well, if I came across as relaxed and slightly dozy then it would at least fit the stat mixup - I planned to ask for Mind 7 / Body 5 (the average being 6), but somewhere along the way (either what I sent to Sam, or Sam sent to the organisers, or some mixup in the organisers' records) this got switched around. What with the time delay between booking and playing, I didn't realise M5/B7 wasn't what I'd asked for until the Monday morning, when I happened across my original draft... spent a good portion of the event trying to figure out what I had been thinking, heh.]
Yesterday I realised that people really do ask me, specifically, for help with their code, and it's not just because I'm the nearest extra set of eyes - people are shouting across the office for my help. This has bolstered my self-confidence somewhat, though only a little.
