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kingandynew year went quite well, except for the part where i was very poorly indeed. in fact it would be fair to say i rather exploded in the bathroom. ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
richc and ajon assured me it was no problem, since i'd cleaned it all up and it was due for a clean anyway and at least the bathroom is basically designed for that, being all wipe-clean surfaces, but i suspect they did not realise the full extent of my explosion.
my first upchuck was just after si and fluff andsamharber left; i felt it coming long in advance, and had time to saunter to the bathroom and empty my gut without difficulty. o, if only the rest of the night had passed so easily.
after lying awake in bed for maybe a half hour, i suddenly felt the urge again. somewhat ill-advisedly, perhaps, i proceeded to saunter bathroomwards in a likewise manner. at least until the door was open, at which point things spun out of my control. vomit sprayed across the wall behind the toilet, miraculously missing the adjacent sink and mirror. i spent a goodly time clearing that up with the aid of some kitchen roll. minor casualties included the items atop the cistern - a screwdriver and hairbrush, which i gave a good thorough rinsing, a book on military history, which was only a little damp at the edges, and a roll of dental floss, which i had the presence of mind to throw in the waste bin.
it was about at this point that i learned liquid gushings were not, apparently, restricted to my front end. something in the day's consumption, be it the rice from asda that had been in the fridge overnight or perhaps the mounds o meat and oil-based gravy served as the evening meal, decided to give me a healthy case of diarrhoea. as i sat, the world falling out of my bottom, i reflected that at least i had not been stricked with both maladies concurrently, as that would be a most impractical arrangement. there being only one end that can fit in the toilet at any given moment.
i really must stop thinking things like that. the very next time i visited that bathroom, expecting only to evacuate the bowels, guess what happened.
and so it came to pass that, in the third hour of the new year, i was on my hands and knees using my underpants to mop up a pool of my own bile.
(see, i told you it was not for the faint of heart.)
there was a line of reasoning behind the use of underwear for this function, and it is one i cannot fault in the light of day. i could not locate a bucket for the mop, nor was there sufficient kitchen roll, and i didn't want to waste any more toilet paper. the boxers, on the other hand, were already tainted with the stuff and unusable. (think, here, about the mechanics of the situation. i was seated with my pants around my knees when i vomited. of course they were soaked.) so with due practicality that can only be summoned at such wee hours when one has nothing left to lose, i rinsed the underwear off and put it to use as a cloth.
damn, but bile is revolting stuff.
i could not sleep for the rest of the night. today i have eaten nothing but two slices of toast and drunken only a pint of water, part of which contained something called liver salts which did seem to help (thanksajon). i am now at home in stretford, where my stomach is beginning to settle and my bedroom is directly next to the toilet. i find both these factors a comfort.
and finally
happy new year to everyone who sent me text messages. and everybody else. happy years all round!
ps it was the best new years ever because nook was not there
richc and ajon assured me it was no problem, since i'd cleaned it all up and it was due for a clean anyway and at least the bathroom is basically designed for that, being all wipe-clean surfaces, but i suspect they did not realise the full extent of my explosion.my first upchuck was just after si and fluff and
samharber left; i felt it coming long in advance, and had time to saunter to the bathroom and empty my gut without difficulty. o, if only the rest of the night had passed so easily.after lying awake in bed for maybe a half hour, i suddenly felt the urge again. somewhat ill-advisedly, perhaps, i proceeded to saunter bathroomwards in a likewise manner. at least until the door was open, at which point things spun out of my control. vomit sprayed across the wall behind the toilet, miraculously missing the adjacent sink and mirror. i spent a goodly time clearing that up with the aid of some kitchen roll. minor casualties included the items atop the cistern - a screwdriver and hairbrush, which i gave a good thorough rinsing, a book on military history, which was only a little damp at the edges, and a roll of dental floss, which i had the presence of mind to throw in the waste bin.
it was about at this point that i learned liquid gushings were not, apparently, restricted to my front end. something in the day's consumption, be it the rice from asda that had been in the fridge overnight or perhaps the mounds o meat and oil-based gravy served as the evening meal, decided to give me a healthy case of diarrhoea. as i sat, the world falling out of my bottom, i reflected that at least i had not been stricked with both maladies concurrently, as that would be a most impractical arrangement. there being only one end that can fit in the toilet at any given moment.
i really must stop thinking things like that. the very next time i visited that bathroom, expecting only to evacuate the bowels, guess what happened.
and so it came to pass that, in the third hour of the new year, i was on my hands and knees using my underpants to mop up a pool of my own bile.
(see, i told you it was not for the faint of heart.)
there was a line of reasoning behind the use of underwear for this function, and it is one i cannot fault in the light of day. i could not locate a bucket for the mop, nor was there sufficient kitchen roll, and i didn't want to waste any more toilet paper. the boxers, on the other hand, were already tainted with the stuff and unusable. (think, here, about the mechanics of the situation. i was seated with my pants around my knees when i vomited. of course they were soaked.) so with due practicality that can only be summoned at such wee hours when one has nothing left to lose, i rinsed the underwear off and put it to use as a cloth.
damn, but bile is revolting stuff.
i could not sleep for the rest of the night. today i have eaten nothing but two slices of toast and drunken only a pint of water, part of which contained something called liver salts which did seem to help (thanks
ajon). i am now at home in stretford, where my stomach is beginning to settle and my bedroom is directly next to the toilet. i find both these factors a comfort.and finally
happy new year to everyone who sent me text messages. and everybody else. happy years all round!
ps it was the best new years ever because nook was not there
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no subject
Date: 2005-01-02 01:53 pm (UTC)Any idea what the incubation period is?
no subject
Date: 2005-01-02 02:08 pm (UTC)I'd say
no subject
Date: 2005-01-02 03:12 pm (UTC)I'd always recommend having a bathroom bin that will hold water in a bucket type fashion for just these instances.