NO! Oh NO!
May. 5th, 2004 11:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kingandyReal actual genuine dialogue from JLA 95 (cover date Late May):
Wicked evil vampire (while biting): "For all that he is SUPERMAN ... my BITE will make Earth's greatest hero a VAMPIRE!"
Innocent yet misguided protege: "NO! Oh NO!"
My thoughts exactly, dear. The darling little girl then remains entirely undercover, harbouring secret fears that she may be being led astray. She manages to keep this entirely to herself despite shrieking her disapproval of the master from all of three feet away. Still, he was speaking with his mouth full, maybe he took it as a comment on his table manners.
Summary of the issue: Chris Claremont sucks ass. The second page includes such gems as the sound effect "Bleurgh!" and "The blood of innocents ... DELECTABLE!" (Emphasis his.) It's only a blessing that there's no double exclamation marks in there.
There was the odd gem, though. Princess "Wonder Woman" Diana decrying "Gods forbid my ancient sisters write short, declarative sentences," upon poring over ancient scrolls. (Though the vocabulary feels slightly out of character - under Claremont everybody becomes an English graduate.) And - in the following issue - Faith actually notices how much like a pantomime villain this vampire is behaving. Then she makes Buffy references, which upon reflection seems quite acceptable, considering her name.
Still, overall, the whole thing makes my head hurt. It feels like I'm reading a comic from 20 years ago. Am thinking of cancelling my JLA subscription and buying something less shit instead.
I hear the Marvel Ultimates are quite good...
Wicked evil vampire (while biting): "For all that he is SUPERMAN ... my BITE will make Earth's greatest hero a VAMPIRE!"
Innocent yet misguided protege: "NO! Oh NO!"
My thoughts exactly, dear. The darling little girl then remains entirely undercover, harbouring secret fears that she may be being led astray. She manages to keep this entirely to herself despite shrieking her disapproval of the master from all of three feet away. Still, he was speaking with his mouth full, maybe he took it as a comment on his table manners.
Summary of the issue: Chris Claremont sucks ass. The second page includes such gems as the sound effect "Bleurgh!" and "The blood of innocents ... DELECTABLE!" (Emphasis his.) It's only a blessing that there's no double exclamation marks in there.
There was the odd gem, though. Princess "Wonder Woman" Diana decrying "Gods forbid my ancient sisters write short, declarative sentences," upon poring over ancient scrolls. (Though the vocabulary feels slightly out of character - under Claremont everybody becomes an English graduate.) And - in the following issue - Faith actually notices how much like a pantomime villain this vampire is behaving. Then she makes Buffy references, which upon reflection seems quite acceptable, considering her name.
Still, overall, the whole thing makes my head hurt. It feels like I'm reading a comic from 20 years ago. Am thinking of cancelling my JLA subscription and buying something less shit instead.
I hear the Marvel Ultimates are quite good...
